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  • Technology Update 1:
    There is a device in the market which converts your Thoughts into Speech. It is called Alcohol.
  • Technology Update 2
    There is another device that converts your Speech into Silence. It is called Wife.
  • Technology Update 3
    There is another device that converts your fake forwards into Belief. It is called whatsapp.
  • Be Strong I Whispered To My WiFi Signal.
  • I Will Marry A Girl Who Looks Pretty In Aadhaar Card.
  • Zombies are looking for a brain. Don’t worry. You’re safe.
  • The problem with some people is that they exist.
  • Maybe the love of my life got stuck in a condom.
  • If I can look beautiful in my adhaar card, I bet I am handsome.
  • My study schedule: Study-10 min Rest- 1 Hr.
  • The reason why I change my status every day is my GF wants me to do that.
  • To save water, I drink V0dka
  • Marriage is subject to market risk.
  • Mahh phone, mahh status.LOL.
  • Drink till you become the greatest philosopher of your own world!
  • It’s always fun to look back 5 years old photo of ourselves ( whatsapp status funny )
  • I didn’t fall, It was just that the floor needed some cleaning.
  • Which exercise machine do I need to impress a girl? The trainer said ATM.
  • My humor is beyond your understanding. Isn’t that funny.
  • If the brain is powerful why doesn’t everyone use it?
  • Most of the fruits I know now are just because of the shampoo I use.
  • I shampoo can be rich-looking why can’t we.
  • I love my Haters, they make me Famous.
  • All my life I thought the air was free… until I bought a bag of chips.
  • I didn’t change, I just grew up. You should try it once.
  • I love buying new things but I hate spending money.
  • I don’t have an attitude problem, I just have a personality that you can’t handle.
  •  Life is too short. Don’t waste it reading my WhatsApp status….
  •  We all are born to die, don’t feel more special than me.
  • If you are BAD then I am your DAD.
  • Life is too short to be serious all the time. So if you can’t laugh at yourself, call me I will laugh at you.
  • The world could be amazing when you are slightly strange.
  • My secret talent is getting tired without doing anything.
  • The new way of forgetting your past is deleting your chats.
  • 204 countries, 805 Islands, 7 seas, 7+ Billion people and I’m still single.
  • Hey there, I’m using my parents.
  • A really cool feature of the Nano they don’t tell you about is that even beggars ignore you at a traffic signal. Relaxing facility.
  • Men have feeings too. For example, we feel hungry.
  • You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. And, You also tell me you love me, so now I’m scared!
  • My teacher today gave a 45-minute speech about not wasting time.
  • 3 horrible things in life: 1) Slow Internet. 2) Slow Internet. 3) Slow Internet.
  • Never laugh at your wife’s choices.you are one of them.
  • Hey there! I’m using my brain.
  • Thank God there is No Hindi version of WhatsApp otherwise “Last Seen” would be “Antim Darshan”
  • I put my heart n soul into my work and lost my brain in the process.
  • Wants to know how the hell I can remember words to songs from years ago but can’t remember what I went into the next room for!!
  • Faces you make on the toilet: (o_o), (>_<), (0_0), (^_^)
  • Sorry about those texts I sent you last night, my phone was drunk.
  • Taking your ex back is like going to the junkyard and buying back your own crap.
  • When a bird hits your windshield, have you ever wondered if God is playing angry birds with you?
  • WhatsApp free hai, main Nahi.
  • Decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire.
  • I remember when my old Nokia phone said I had a low battery it meant that I had 2 days to find a charger.
  • I have come to the conclusion that Google must be female, as she has the answer to everything!
  • Girls are like police. Even when they get a hold of all the evidence, they still want to hear the truth from you.
  • If you love someone set them free. If they come back, set them on fire.
  • When someone hates you for no reason. Give them a reason.
  • Sometimes I think to write LOL at the end of every answer in exams.
  • I don’t care what people say or think about me, at least am attractive to mosquitoes.
  • Not always available, try your luck.

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